You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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