sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
