You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
