ugly people sure do ruin things
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
