I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
