i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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