1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
