if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
