i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
