do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
