i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize