The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
