when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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