Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
