she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
