Nicole vs. Life
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
