My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
