You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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