I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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