I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can't put those talents on a resume
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
