You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
