Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize