if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
