she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
