The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
