sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I AM VODKA MAN
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize