i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
