so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize
