There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
