wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
40s are totally the cure
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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