Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
this is an emotional support booty call
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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