Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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