You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
