At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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