It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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