He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize