my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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