Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

You're completely useless in the revolution.

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(559): View more from California

I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great

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(804): View more from Virginia

NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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(712): View more from Iowa

I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside

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(216): View more from Ohio

wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?

(330): View more from Ohio

yes... and buy you lunch

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(727): View more from Florida

trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid

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(971): View more from Oregon

Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.

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