I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
