While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
