My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
