You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
