you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
