my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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