how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
