this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize