I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
