How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
