gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
