how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You smell like a Billy Joel song
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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