The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
