We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
