Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
babies were throwing up all over the place
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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