their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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