Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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