He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
