my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
