and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
