i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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