Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize