I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
