it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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