Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
