WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
